Ooh, I had an uncomfortable “I’ve gotta get it out” inner itch today. Do you get that, when you know something is bubbling up inside, but you don’t quite know what it is or what it has in store for you?
Initially nothing felt like it could touch it – it just felt frustrated, destined to die unrequited.
I see this a lot in clients – there’s an impulse, a desire, but it gets shut down so darned quick that you hardly remember it was there.
Part of my work as a therapist I feel is to help make it safe for people see their squashing mechanisms, and in turn their fears, their judgements, their “it’s not suppose to be this way” self-talk. And then actually look at what’s there and learn to stay a while with it, and see what happens.
To me these impulses are life itself. Our spirit, our life-force. Call it what you will. Waving its hand in your face.
Sometimes the flavour of the sense is already a feeling like anxiety, frustration, excitement, anger. Sometimes it’s something more general – a non-specific felt sense that starts brewing in the body.
When this happened today for me, I got intrigued about it. I wanted to move towards it. Thankfully I had some childcare, so I could! So I sat with it, I wrote about how it felt and what I imagined it wanted, I painted it, I even moved with it borrowing from Bradford Keeney’s shaking work. I also made some contacts with people linked with the (currently undisclosed!) subject matter.
Now I feel satisfied. Even if I don’t know the full content of it, I know it’s a force bigger than me that’s got me by the tail, and I’m dancing with it! Here are some images that came out in the process.